i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
