"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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