I heard we made out
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize