in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
