Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
