We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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