C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
