47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
