listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
