I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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