Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
