3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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