tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
