all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
