Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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