just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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