No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
