The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
