I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
