umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
