On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize