So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
