dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
