Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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