Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
