Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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