I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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