Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
