Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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