Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
