Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize