I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
