Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
