She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
