I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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