My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
