So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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