I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize