batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
