if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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