I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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