8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
