so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
