a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
