? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
