My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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