I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
And then he peed in my hair
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