One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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