i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
