well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you inspire me to be a worse person
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
