y did u give ur computer a hand job?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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