PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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