Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
