There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
