stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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