I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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