yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Vodka?
Forever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
