i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
