It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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