Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
