the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
